I am sleepless tonight as I can't stop thinking about my upcoming trip to Costa Rica, and the fact that I am so nervous about it, mainly because I have to leave Zemi behind. I keep imagining horrible things happening to her. I do this every time I leave her to travel. I can't help it. She is everything to me, and the boys are as well. But the boys are coming with me, so I can maintain control over them. :)
We are travelling to Costa Rica for Jason's 40th birthday. I cannot believe my husband will be 40 years old! He has been wanting to travel to CR for a very long time, so he said that this year he is going to go. I almost did not sign up to go with him, but finally did as he really wanted me to go, despite my extreme anxiety about leaving my little girl. What I do for love!!
I am sure I will have a great time, while in the back of my mind I will always be thinking of Zemi and what she is doing. Since we will be out of the country, I am afraid it would be somewhat difficult to come back home if something were to happen to her, so my anxiety is even more elevated this trip than others I have taken without her, and I am leaving her for the longest period of time I ever have....6 whole days and 7 nights!
And calling home to check on her will be out of the question basically, for me anyhow. I read that our cell phones will not work in CR, and making a landline call I cannot do, since I cannot hear on the phone. I wonder if I can email? I hope so! I don't like the idea of being disconnected technologically. Computers and text messages keep me sane!
Oh ---and what if something happens to me?? or to Jason?? or my boys?? I can't stand it!! I am a nervous wreck!!
People without children just do not understand the kind of fear that is leaving children behind while travelling, or actually, leaving your children with others in general.
Well I suppose I need lots and lots of prayers....for me to have peace, for us to travel safe, for our adventures/excursions to run smoothly, and for Zemi to remain safe and unharmed while I am gone. I sound like a doggone worrywart/untrusting person.....but my anxiety is so stinking high!!! I am sure other moms would understand.